Midnight Oil

[TranquillityBase]

Hi Tim-
The poem concludes for me at “erases all pain.”
I suggest “cleanses my pain” to keep it personal.
The lines after that are not necessary, for me.
They seem like part of another poem, or separate thoughts.

Just my 2 cents,
Mark

Thanks Mark,

I tend to agree.  The additional lines were intended to complete a rhyme pattern; first line rhyming with last, second line with next to last, etc.

Tim