Or perhaps he does not
#5
(07-04-2023, 01:33 PM)busker Wrote:  Thanks, TqB, Kynaston
TqB - there is probably one less line. Will give it some thought
Kynaston- good point about the ‘purveyor’. The original line had purloiner / purveyor as in the edit, have restored it otherwise yeah, it doesn’t make sense
‘Pages are shaken’ is grammatically fine. But it’s better to pair it with ‘those who write’ - have done that
Regarding Wikipedia articles, that depends on how much the reader knows. These are fairly standard cultural references that people should be aware of - certainly more so than of American popular music as an example. The footnotes are to help those who mightn’t be aware.
True, I didn't mean "pages are shaken" is necessarily a grammatical issue. It just reads awkward. And the edit does the job, so that's cool. 
Is Nasadiya Sukta really a "standard cultural reference"? I'm not sure, but I hope it is because it's a very interesting hymn. I suppose the idea of "the wiki link" is giving my old man brain some trouble. I think, either a poem references or is related to a thing or it doesn't or isn't. And either you want to give a nod to that reference or you don't. The wiki link seems like a cheat. In my opinion, you can either write it straight and the people who know will know (although, the link between these two poems is very tenuous), or you give a hint in the poem or title that it is related to something else. Personally, I would have subtitled the poem "Or Perhaps He Does Not after Nasadiya Sukta", because the poem works perfectly well on it's own without this relationship, but if you want to give a nod to the inspiration, then it does that too. The link just seemed like a lack of confidence. But, then again, I'm used to reading books with paper pages you can't click on, so what do I know.
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Messages In This Thread
Or perhaps he does not - by busker - 07-03-2023, 08:15 AM
RE: Or perhaps he does not - by TranquillityBase - 07-03-2023, 09:28 PM
RE: Or perhaps he does not - by Kynaston Levitt - 07-04-2023, 08:00 AM
RE: Or perhaps he does not - by busker - 07-04-2023, 01:33 PM
RE: Or perhaps he does not - by Kynaston Levitt - 07-05-2023, 06:37 AM
RE: Or perhaps he does not - by Tiger the Lion - 07-05-2023, 07:06 AM
RE: Or perhaps he does not - by Kynaston Levitt - 07-05-2023, 07:46 AM



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