07-03-2023, 09:28 PM
(07-03-2023, 08:15 AM)busker Wrote: Or perhaps he does notNot sure you wanted critique, but I can't resist, because it's an inspiring piece.
Time, purveyor,
great surveying osprey,
all things prey to you. Youth,
white teeth, strong gums,
skin taut like a drum’s,
and lust burnt to ashes by
the third eye.
Pages are shaken into dust,
like those who wrote them. Why
the dead reappear to die, reappear only to die again (?)
or the gods we trust
in their rows upon rows, seems like there should be another line about what happens to those gods, like what happens with the reincarnated dead
there is one above them all - there is one who knows. move this down to make it the last line (?)
Ref: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasadiya_Sukta
TqB

