Talisman(edit)

[brynmawr1]

that’s a nice watch, I say,
between sips of wine, noticing
its wide silver band, how it lays
loose around her wrist.  Thanks,
it’s an old omega, bought
on their honeymoon, it 
had a chip in the crystal, needed
the new band.  I remember how
he wore it on 14 hour shifts
in the ER.  If he could do that,
then maybe I can get through
she says
a brother said she can’t
wear a men’s watch-
 
but she does
and she will
because her father did
and she can.

Hi Bryn,

I like the way the reader is dropped into the middle of this conversation.  And the mystery of the watch is skillfully held back to the very end.

Two suggestions:

Title might ought to be singular (Talisman)

The line "then maybe I can get through" leaves me wanting to know "get through what?"

TqB

Hi TqB,
Thanks for your comments.  I went back and forth on the title and I think you are right.  Regarding the ambiguity, I have always found a little ambiguity compelling and I struggle with the balance of also giving the reader something more concrete. I'm not good at making things up so this is an  actual conversation I had with a good friend and it's what was said.  I think what I might do is add more nuance detail of setting and mood.  Try to bring in more poetic elements if I can.  What do you think of the final stanza?
Thanks,
bryn