04-13-2023, 11:17 PM
(04-11-2023, 02:06 AM)Velasco Wrote: I follow the tune through old homes,Favorite bits are the opening lines to each stanza. Not crazy about the title; sounds like it's going to be a ponderous essay. "nostalgia" is Greek for "pain of return"; that is, nostalgia usually implies a certain sadness, but this isn't really a sad poem, at least I don't read it as a sadness about old times, more a clear remembrance of them.
recollecting doorbells rung by the estranged, the sounds
that certain toys and games would make, and the I think it would be more effective to name specific toys/games here
weather forecast jingle that would wake me up
before walking in the morning fog, sometimes
picking dandelions or common daisies
for the crossing guard or mom. I'm searching for I guess in a practical sense I don't see how you'd keep them fresh all day for your mom
a bright opening to leave these shadow puppets dancing
on the roughly plastered wall, because tomorrow
soon becomes a passed-down story
with its warm rainbow of light. For me, this last line is just too sweet; how about "fading rainbow of light"?
TqB

