Draft 2: Our Silence in the World We Build

[brynmawr1]

Every station emits static like a gentle storm     station seems vague in the general context of the poem and 'gentle' doesn't follow to 'woken' and 'stay inside'     
that would have woken and encouraged us
to stay inside—me listening to music,
you enveloped in a book, each curled in our own blankets. Nice subtle setup of separation
The pulse of conversations spanning countries
has gone from what power lines remain.
There's always something to be said,
so when there's nothing being said, the air between us    Great ironic? interplay in these lines.
becomes too sacred to form into words and we can hear      everything before and after is great but this phrase just doesn't seem right.  I feel like it should end at 'sacred' but don't have a great suggestion for how to change it.  Something that follows from 'sacred'
a blue jay calling from a dormant cable.

Hi Velasco,
Very nice work.  When I first read it I thought is was a poetic response to TqB's question about showing vs telling.  Maybe it is!  Either way a nice example of showing and maybe a little telling.  I hope you find something useful in my comments.
bryn