Levitation

[brynmawr1]

Levitation

After the coffee,
two cigarettes, I read
poems in the Pig Pen.        whether intentional or not, great double meaning here.

Then I poke around                        great line of many
old wounds, a chapter of the Koran,
a soccer game,
feeling them out with a mind
with too many loose wires.            here I think could do better than 'with', but again great line.

Take the dog to the park             comma?
sit with a hung jury of old men     this is one of the best lines I've ever come across
talking of motorcycle gas tanks,
why dogs hump, an early Spring.    the?

Watch the river, its current stilled
by drought, an old thing itself,          'an old thing itself' also inspired
an empty road on its surface,           'its surface an empty road'?
turtles waiting for winter to be gone.    winter's end?

Another day, an other time,          love the play on another, an other
this time that makes a shadow      got a little stuck on 'this', want 'a' but I feel like you are going for something specific here
where my mind is still.                 Finally, love the double meaning here.

Hi TqB,
You've really been hitting them out of the park.  Sorry, about the suggestions.  I couldn't resist noodling around a bit.  Blame it on the bourbon!
Keep 'em coming!
Bryn