Senecio's Lament

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Senecio’s Lament

My lust is weighed down by memory,      feels redundant 
a moon cratered by the impact
of so many succubi,              don't brag!
a long exhausted volcano
now drowned with a lake           in?
where wind rarely disturbs its surface.   its surface rarely disturbed by wind.   The wind is deletable.  I find this whole line a little awkward or maybe..

a volcano now drowned
a lake rarely disturbed by wind         Viagra? Ha, jk!

When I needed to hold the Other            the 'the Other' here confuses me in your intent.  Would 'others' work better?
I sought out Lilith, never Eve,       ?
rebel, demon, banished from Eden,     this also confuses without the spoiler.  both were eventually banished?
condemned to sing only at night,
or one of her daughters, whose bodies, 
so unobtainable, still inhabit my dreams with aching light,
make my sleep a wave of tremors.
I wait to be swallowed up.            This is almost a stand alone line

I wake, see my yearning,
sees those sex-holy demons fading 
into an old man’s secret morning.   I love the double meaning of mourning and morning.
I will fly no more in Lilith’s arms.   ?

Senecio is a persona who's been with me for 40 odd years (first appearing in a never to be published novel around 1983, in which he played a kind of alien from God), so that I almost see him as another person, but a person made up of a Me who has lived almost seven decades, all wrapped into one warped DNA string.  Anyway, only reference point (the origin story) is Paul Klee's painting.

Oh and don't miss:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith#/me...0-1750.JPG

TqB,
Very nice.  Made my usual at your discretion suggestions.  My major sticking point was the suggested comparison between Lilith and Eve.  Without the spoiler it wouldn't have made sense to me.  Just letting you know.  My suggestions around S1 might be confusing as I sort of offered different suggestions. If not clear let me know.
Take care,
Bryn

Thanks!  I was a little embarrassed by this poem when I reread it last night.  I edited it significantly, hopefully getting doewn to the essential.  Thanks for the guidance.