A few lines
#5
I like the "vines" change.

As far as the word "chalice", if I change it to "cup", then I want to consider what "rest" can be changed to for either a rhyme or slight rhyme.

Now my problem is with the phrase "stay alive". It doesn't seem to go in the same direction the rest of the poem is going.
Huh
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Messages In This Thread
A few lines - by burrealist - 01-19-2023, 12:58 AM
RE: A few lines - by TranquillityBase - 01-19-2023, 10:20 AM
RE: A few lines - by busker - 01-19-2023, 04:25 PM
RE: A few lines - by Mark A Becker - 01-19-2023, 10:26 PM
RE: A few lines - by burrealist - 01-20-2023, 12:20 AM
RE: A few lines - by Mark A Becker - 01-20-2023, 01:43 AM



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