01-19-2023, 04:25 PM
I like how the 'moons' and 'suns' is a reference to time, not alient planets.
I like the 'shine' / 'rise' part-rhyme.
I'd prefer 'vines' to 'wines', but otherwise it reads fine to me.
I like the 'shine' / 'rise' part-rhyme.
I'd prefer 'vines' to 'wines', but otherwise it reads fine to me.

