Homo naledi

[alonso ramoran]

Hey TqB,

Enjoyed the poem and the idea of it! Thoughts below.

Accidental creatures
crawling deep into caves
to return their dead 
by flickering firelight
to the original dark. What if you were to change the tense from the present participle to the present simple?

Brains the size of oranges Might I suggest a fruit that's indigenous to the S. African region or even an extinct fruit that was a large part of the prehistoric human diet?
they chitter and claw
feasting on antelope.
Predators cannot follow,
cock ears and listen, I think if you were to include "they...", this sentence would be easier to follow

smell smoke and drift on. I don't really understand beginning another stanza at this line
Fresco of time’s children love this phrasing
watching their shadows
play on the cave walls could you omit "the"?

their prehensile laughter Same critique as the first line from the previous stanza
does not forget the dead.
They wait for no God,
no Savior, only sunrise. Very nice finish

Accidental creatures 
crawling deep into caves
to return their dead 
by flickering firelight
to the original dark.

Brains the size of oranges
they chitter and claw
feasting on antelope.
Predators cannot follow
but listen at the entrance

and drift away in boredom
hungry for bigger prey.
Humanity’s lost children
watching their shadows
play on the cave walls

their prehensile laughter
does not wake their dead
they expect no God,
no Savior, only sunrise.

Thank you for the read,
Alex