Mijo (edit 3)

[brynmawr1]

Again I gaze at your half-dark self-portrait 
pinned to the wall above my computer

you took it with that old Olympus
held at arm’s length

you’ve grown a beard
and you’re not smiling

I always try to read your stern face,
are you angry?

I look into your eyes
and pretend you can see me too.

I stare at a half-dark picture of you

you took it yourself
with that old Olympus film camera

you have a beard
and you’re not smiling

I try to read your face,
you look almost angry.

When I look into your eyes
I pretend you can see me too.

Hi TqB,
One thought I had is to take Tiger's suggestion one step further and make the poem a more direct conversation from the opening line.  Eg starting with something like 'Remember the...'  And I think you can cut 'stern' in S4 sort if implied by previous lines.
Very nice work.
Bryn