Maybe Baby (Be My Baby-Edit)

[Mark A Becker]

Thanks for all the comments.  I've boiled Baby down and, perhaps perversely, doubled down on the rhymes, not my strong suit.

Hey Tim-
I very much like this revision.

The rhymes fall in place nicely, except here, to which I suggest some slight changes:

Baby knows how to fly 
across my bent nickel sky
makes my puppet move
to any dance she'll choose.

Adding a line to S.1 should be easy: something with 'what-a-bouts' could work.  Also, the ending could be stronger.

All that said, I don't see any rhyming issues- they work well.

Thanks!
Mark