Day of orange sun
#2
(09-07-2022, 12:40 PM)Semicircle Wrote:  Thunder ripped clouds         One of my favorite lines, although "lightning" might be more appropriate?
rain pouring down
valleys sterilized in blue   also like this line

spades uproot soil
the body won't spoil
flame coursing through       not sure what to think here.  The sun coming out?

tomorrow morning
the air smelt of you.          feels like a tense conflict between these last two lines.  Intentional?
Hi Sc,

Nice imagery.  Just a few comments.
Thanks,
bryn
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Messages In This Thread
Day of orange sun - by Semicircle - 09-07-2022, 12:40 PM
RE: Day of orange sun - by brynmawr1 - 09-07-2022, 10:38 PM
RE: Day of orange sun - by Semicircle - 09-08-2022, 03:44 AM
RE: Day of orange sun - by s3 - 09-09-2022, 10:28 PM
RE: Day of orange sun - by Tiger the Lion - 09-09-2022, 10:53 PM
RE: Day of orange sun - by Semicircle - 09-10-2022, 12:26 AM



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