09-06-2022, 02:36 PM
Just some thoughts on how I would change things up if I were you. I think your poem is nice overall but I wasn't sure why "for futurity" needed to be added. It didn't flow as well, however, that's just my opinion. Excellently done, though.
My friend, your face
My friend,
your face grows dearer the farther you go away from me.
Awash in the sea
are all our days together
yet the thought of your eyes fills me with gladness,
and the garden of youth
still grows memories of the things that you were,
whatever you may be.
[/quote]
My friend, your face
My friend,
your face grows dearer the farther you go away from me.
Awash in the sea
are all our days together
yet the thought of your eyes fills me with gladness,
and the garden of youth
still grows memories of the things that you were,
whatever you may be.
[/quote]