Numb Puddle: Reflections

[Tiger the Lion]

numb, sitting on a sidewalk
knees in your arms
staring
at nothing
could be anything
the thoughts would be the same.

who are you
loving?

forgiving?

is worth feeling good?
growth,
knowing pain?

your knees shake,
fingers knit tightly together
clinching.

lethargy remains.
waiting for the feeling
of tears.

stuck sitting and staring
on a sidewalk.
numb
staring at puddle
caused by rain.
nothing is changing
everything is the same.

Sometimes, we try so hard to be poetic we say things like "staring at a puddle caused by rain", when we meant to say "staring at a rain puddle." I agree with SC that there is something here, but some chopping of words would help. It has an understated melancholy that could work really well if it got a good shave.