Consecrating Harmony

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Consecrated Harmony

Empty wounds illume their knowledge in the dawn,         if the wounds are empty, how can they illume (and I don't care for the archaic "illume") ?
bloody
from the darkness, weary guns shout--                      guns "shout" seems the wrong word here......"cry out, wail, clamor...."?
noisy
forking through a desert, a frightening fight endures.
fiercely
Armies, the recondite lambs in autumn, stop, then step:                 "obscure lambs" or something less latinate than "recondite"
charging
The evanescent systems imploding within, most truculent children were immolating off
to war.                 immolated into war?

T-
A lot of interesting images here, but it reads like a set of notes for an unfinished poem.  

A few notes above.