06-23-2022, 02:35 AM
(05-23-2022, 11:19 PM)Semicircle Wrote:Thank you, SC. You're right, of course. I might have to trash this one and just move on to the next, as there is not much else a cow could do. "Mooing" might work (it fits the syllables), although is a quite a stretch for believability--but could make it kind of funnier though:(08-28-2020, 11:59 PM)Torkelburger Wrote: Cattle (a Haibun)The first line needs reworking. Otherwize this is strong poem.
not the odor This is a bit confusing, flies wouldn't be disseminated by odor. They are drawn to it.
but skilled tails
disseminate flies
Thanks for the read, sc
not the mooing
but skilled tails
disseminate flies
Meh, I don't know. Thanks for the catch.

