Exodus
#3
(06-09-2022, 03:49 AM)Semicircle Wrote:  Empty robes
float down cobble roads,
processions of torches
lighting greasy hair.

Hunched exodus
abandoning homes.
Mass silence,
broken by screams
like scorpion tails.

The robes lurch
off the cliffside,
turning,
to watch them spill over.
There are some nice images in there, with robes floating down streets and spilling over a cliff
Some of the word choices could be improved - an exodus could be the ‘abandoning of homes’, but not ‘abandoning homes’
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Messages In This Thread
Exodus - by Semicircle - 06-09-2022, 03:49 AM
RE: Exodus - by TranquillityBase - 06-09-2022, 06:23 AM
RE: Exodus - by busker - 06-18-2022, 12:18 PM
RE: Exodus - by Torkelburger - 06-21-2022, 04:39 AM
RE: Exodus - by Semicircle - 06-21-2022, 12:28 PM



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