06-17-2022, 09:30 PM
I understand “
they could only hold out” as the horrific circumstances in which the 19 were - but i could see where it could come across as a judgement and VS Jackson - I did not see the original but the one with added details reads like a powerful piece - Using a current event to bring the reader in and make something personal to you relatable to all is very effective here - it allows the reader to feel pain and then relate it to Jackson and others that the reader knows -
If i were to add anything would be background on what happened to Jackson - but then again this is your piece to release as you please
they could only hold out” as the horrific circumstances in which the 19 were - but i could see where it could come across as a judgement and VS Jackson - I did not see the original but the one with added details reads like a powerful piece - Using a current event to bring the reader in and make something personal to you relatable to all is very effective here - it allows the reader to feel pain and then relate it to Jackson and others that the reader knows -
If i were to add anything would be background on what happened to Jackson - but then again this is your piece to release as you please