4 a.m.

[Magpie]

There's nothing wrong with 5-7-5 it's just that it's not really a haiku as such. The Japanese don't count syllables they count 'onji' which are sounds, so a word like 'mark' would be separated into 'mar' and 'k' - two onji as opposed to one syllable. A better comparison for writing in English would be 3-5-3 if you wanted to stick to a particular structure. Haiku should be short and have that one breath quality with an 'a-ha' moment and usually a cut.
You never professed your poem to be a haiku so that's fine. When I noticed the 5-7-5 structure I was reminded of Richard Wright who wrote thousands of what he called 'haiku' at the end of his life but essentially they were really good 5-7-5 poems/observations like yours.
A good example of a Richard Wright 'haiku' is 

Heaps of black cherries
glittering with drops of rain
in the evening sun

it doesn't have an 'a-ha' moment or a cut but it is a beautiful observation, like a split second photograph.

For a while I used Richard Wright as my reason for writing 5-7-5 haiku, but then I met people like Ray on this site and it changed my writing forever.

5-7-5 is good if you want to stick to a particular structure for discipline and yours works well in that sense - like this one; one of my favourites from Richard Wright

Keep straight down this block,
then turn right where you will find
a peach tree blooming