4 a.m.

[Magpie]

Nice one Tim

However, 'in the sky' could be seen as redundant

cheers
mark

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I've just noticed that you are sticking to 5-7-5 which could lead to a whole different debate.
I see this as a Richard Wright type of haiku/poem observation
I still think 'in the sky' is redundant and just filling for the sake of three syllables.
The best alternative I could come up with is

Half-moon, bowl of light
tipped over the horizon
pours out a dead haze.

but I'm not sure if this works

Sorry to be a nuisance

Mark