Our Puzzle edit2

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[font=等线]Our Puzzle[/font]

Sometimes, the picture of our life gets broken.This metaphor would work better if you didn't tell the audience what it meant directly. You could leave out the pronouns to leave a bit of mystery to your piece.

our pieces fall out of place and
we can’t see how we fit together. This is implied.
Sometimes the pieces are from different parts,
all scattered around.
Sometimes they are from one part  The repetition of sometimes is redundant.
and leave a big hole.
They sit jumbled in our thoughts;  Metaphors involving the mind are often cliche done wrong. I try to steer away from them.
loves, losses, pains and triumphs,
pieces of a puzzle in their box. Very cliche
Some have blurry edges, hard to see.
Some are sharp, painful to hold. again, this is implied
Turning them this way and that,
we examine each,
looking for the answer.   This long winded explanation could be shortened down to, " trying to fit the pieces back together" which is a bland example but, you get what I mean.
We sit in our places,
sifting, 'Sitting in place' and 'sifting' are a contradiction
longing to be whole.

Epilogue

An Allison is what we need
when we are broken, trying
to arrange the pieces of ourselves. "arrange our pieces"
 
An Allison knows the answers 
are there in our box for us to see. were they not for us to see?
The right question, an Allison knows,
is what will set our pieces free. This rhyme comes out of nowhere.




I feel like I should explain the epilogue thing.  Originally I had intended to make it one poem then the first part took on a life of its own, but the second part holds the foundation of my original thesis.  That a good question is more the goal than knowing an answer. Thanks again.