04-29-2022, 09:57 AM
Fork It (An Ode to the Dinner Fork)
We who from youth have learned its proper use
tend to discountenance the dinner fork
yet it withstands our each abuse
including that of eyepatch and of cork*.
The common fork does much but little well:
one edge can cut, but never like a knife;
and soup, as you can tell,
a fork can’t dip to save its life.
There’s salad, one supposes, if
the leaves be small enough to make
no mask for mouth, and olives in a jiff
transfixes fork and all is jake.
The fork makes sad attempts to mend its faults:
for cutting there’s the fabled runcible–
and, true, for spooning fast-food malts
the plastic spork is indispensable.
But fork’s the chief, ‘twill beat
a trident four to three, and earn confetti
from any fool who’s tried to eat
with spoon and knife a plateful of spaghetti!
We who from youth have learned its proper use
tend to discountenance the dinner fork
yet it withstands our each abuse
including that of eyepatch and of cork*.
The common fork does much but little well:
one edge can cut, but never like a knife;
and soup, as you can tell,
a fork can’t dip to save its life.
There’s salad, one supposes, if
the leaves be small enough to make
no mask for mouth, and olives in a jiff
transfixes fork and all is jake.
The fork makes sad attempts to mend its faults:
for cutting there’s the fabled runcible–
and, true, for spooning fast-food malts
the plastic spork is indispensable.
But fork’s the chief, ‘twill beat
a trident four to three, and earn confetti
from any fool who’s tried to eat
with spoon and knife a plateful of spaghetti!
Non-practicing atheist