03-27-2022, 04:24 PM
TB,
A nice idyll with some social consciousness. I think that this sentence is a bit jarring:
"Then came the machines:
all that's gone now except for the largest trees." (when it says all that gone, at first it seems to be referring to the machines, thus the jarring)
"Machines" seem cold and disconnected from man. Maybe something like,
"Then greed came and chopped it all down
nothing left now except for the largest trees."
I've camped on the Guadalupe many times, especially in the state park, really nice place. They have massive thunder storms.
best,
dale
A nice idyll with some social consciousness. I think that this sentence is a bit jarring:
"Then came the machines:
all that's gone now except for the largest trees." (when it says all that gone, at first it seems to be referring to the machines, thus the jarring)
"Machines" seem cold and disconnected from man. Maybe something like,
"Then greed came and chopped it all down
nothing left now except for the largest trees."
I've camped on the Guadalupe many times, especially in the state park, really nice place. They have massive thunder storms.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.