03-27-2022, 11:39 AM
(03-27-2022, 09:49 AM)rowens Wrote: I blast Everything.Using 'everything' twice was redundant.
Clear ground,
live Life.
he'll come after me
and change my design
I submit
And blast him.
I didn't understand why the narrator would care about 'the one'
changing everything he designed
since he was already blasting it.
I shortenned this poem
not because I necessarily think it should be this way
just so you can see how it looks.
Although, looking at it shortenned makes me feel
like there could be some more meat in between
the two stanzas.
What are your thoughts?

