Idle
#3
(03-11-2022, 06:27 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote:  Hi, I like the sentiment in this poem. I've left some thoughts.


(03-11-2022, 04:24 AM)Semicircle Wrote:  Leave me be,   - perhaps a full stop here 

I don't effect  - do you mean 'affect'?
the grass,
the clouds,   - could drop 'the'
or the tides in the sea.  - part of line seems redundant but if keeping it should be 'of the sea'

I'm just a man
sitting under a tree.

So please,
leave me be.
Cheers for the read,

Mark
Thanks, appreciate it.  Smile
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Idle - by Semicircle - 03-11-2022, 04:24 AM
RE: Idle - by Magpie - 03-11-2022, 06:27 AM
RE: Idle - by Semicircle - 03-11-2022, 06:38 AM



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