On First Looking at English Football

[TranquillityBase]

Hey Tim-

Being first generation American, my dad, who was Austrian, got us into soccer way back in the '60's.  It took a very long time before "kick ball", as I call it, became available on a regular basis on US media, like YouTube TV. 

I now record Premiere League, Champions League, and World Cup qualifying matches and watch em whenever I feel like it.  Sorta weird that the World Cup will be in November this year, but I digress...

Good to see you on board watching.  Nothing like seeing a sporting event without constant commercial interruption, too.

Some green comments below:

I wanted to grow old
without going mad. me too
I did not learn the lessons
of middle-age, at least not properly, I really love these lines
and a psychiatrist has become a life sentence.

So I turn spectator,
something called English Premier League,
I, who’ve hated sports
since I was old enough to be picked
last for any team  Good turn from the previous line. And any kid hates that feeling.
now revel in a game I barely understand. Sort of a filler stanza, but it offers needed context.

My eyes chase the ball,
watch with wonder the beautiful pass,  This line is a bit clumsy, I'm afraid.
careful not to blink.
I admire the stoic goalie,
and dread the penalty kick, Ahh, but a save off a penalty is a wondrous sight.
follow the translators’ excitement Translator? The games I watch are in English.
and the obscure chants of the crowd.  Obscure?  Most home fans seem to know em.

Secretly, I’m in love with every player Everybody secretly loves Luis "The Biter" Suarez.  Not a fan of the prima donas, though
for a few seconds at a time,
leaving age and anxiety behind
amid the heroics of their runs, kicks, Maybe "footwork/passes" instead of "kicks"
collisions and rolling agonies.  "rolling agonies" aka "diving".  I personally hate any stoppage in play. But there are definitely genuine crashes and injuries.

Only one refusal remains:
a goal leaves me cold,  Hmm.  Even the build-up to the spectacular ones?
the celebration seems almost tragic. Minimum show-boating please, but "tragic"?
I just want to see the ball again in play  Seems like you're beginning to understand the game.
to take me away
from what is gently called
relegation.  Great twist of an ending!

I must add that I can be a fan of any sport, as long as I'm entertained. It's usually better if I don't have a "dog in the fight", as they say (whoever they are).

Anywho, Tim, I really enjoyed this FUN one

Thanks for the notes, Mark and for the better word choices  (e.g. diving, footwork).  Yes, I already regret the bit about the goal..."tragic" is silly.  I want to revise this.  I started out wanting to do a "On first looking into Chapman's Homer" poem, only about soccer 

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Hi TqB,
Enjoyed the read.  Is it worth polishing?  I think so, but your call.  Yes, going to work some more on this one.  Enjoyed writing this but it's very much a first draft.

It's a satisfying ending, but the opening verse lets it down.  I don't think it really answers the 'why' in 'I turn spectator ... ' OK....I'll try to clear that up.

I'd suggest revisiting 'beautiful' (L13), football is 'the beautiful game', so ... perhaps an alternative?  Right-o

I like the idea of football being played/commentated on in a foreign language (S3) and needing a 'translator' (and it works with the 'inaccurate language' ... 'runs, kicks, collisions' indeed!  Though 'rolling agonies' is very nice.)     Still learning the language of the announcers or whatever they would/should be called.  I'd actually like to include more of that in the poem, but that might be another poem.

Why 'secretly' (S4, who are you hiding it from, and why)?   Myself mostly....I'm overcoming a lifetime of cynicism about the dsporting life.

What does 'even on refusal' mean? (S5).  Refusing to get caught up in the excitement of the goal....something that is fast fading.
I like your 'gently ... relegation' ( no-one who supports a club in such straits views it as anything other than brutal.  It works well from the 'foreign observer' pov though.)