02-25-2022, 05:34 PM
"winds wound Winter mortally pale darkness seems to seep" seems a bit too much, when the rest seem to form, more or less, coherent sentences.
Is the "pale darkness" supposed to issue from Spring or Winter? And the way it's written, the darkness bleeds "hoarded health" -- heat made much more sense -- that saps the speaker of strength, either while they are vainly waiting, or as well as makes them vainly wait.
Easter could be a mere seasonal reference, but with all this talk of wounding and bleeding and waiting and failing to reach, the poem risks communicating eschatology. Which could be interesting, but is otherwise confused -- Jesus is wounded at Good Friday and rises again on Easter, but here the Winter is wounded at February and is supposed to make some sort of long-awaited comeback at the same date? Or Jesus is the Winter that bleeds pale darkness, and too many who wait for him wait vainly, but, again, Winter supposedly comes back at Easter? I dunno, I feel like it's better to describe the seasons more plainly, and to let such plain description signify what it'll signify, than to impose so much anthropomorphism on the weather without any real end.
Is the "pale darkness" supposed to issue from Spring or Winter? And the way it's written, the darkness bleeds "hoarded health" -- heat made much more sense -- that saps the speaker of strength, either while they are vainly waiting, or as well as makes them vainly wait.
Easter could be a mere seasonal reference, but with all this talk of wounding and bleeding and waiting and failing to reach, the poem risks communicating eschatology. Which could be interesting, but is otherwise confused -- Jesus is wounded at Good Friday and rises again on Easter, but here the Winter is wounded at February and is supposed to make some sort of long-awaited comeback at the same date? Or Jesus is the Winter that bleeds pale darkness, and too many who wait for him wait vainly, but, again, Winter supposedly comes back at Easter? I dunno, I feel like it's better to describe the seasons more plainly, and to let such plain description signify what it'll signify, than to impose so much anthropomorphism on the weather without any real end.