01-21-2022, 07:47 AM
(01-19-2022, 11:27 PM)dukealien Wrote: Casualty"opens" is the far superior word choice to "inflicts." If the wound is survivable then "inflicts" would border on hyperbole. "Opens" also creates a double meaning on the enjambment, which is nice. It's a little wordy for my taste (haiku-wise) but the actual word choices are spot on.
Pink-red splotch on bruised
mauve sunrise: new day opens
survivable wound.