LPiA Nov28

[busker]

Douglas Adams surmised
that elevators are intelligent
I'm not surprised -
they never appear when you need them,
such as escaping from a tiger
on the summit of the Eiger
in a feverish dream.

It would almost seem
that they are there as a trap for the unwary -

for instance, you get inside one
to escape from the jaws of the aforementioned beast
and suddenly the lights are gone
and you feel a face that's hairy
but it's not the pedophilic priest,
just fractionally less scary -
yes, it's the selfsame tiger
now grown to the size of a liger
who's uninterested in vegetables
and indifferent to dairy
but only on protein feasts.

or, otherwise, you board one
to get to the hundredth floor
of a disused warehouse in Golder's
Green. Now swiftly your necktie
is caught in the elevator's doors
and your head is wrenched from your shoulders
and the world is suddenly colder
in the morgue.

So that was it about elevators.
Now don't ask me about dogs.