the casual intimacy of standing face-to-face with a cute stranger on public transit

[alonso ramoran]

Snarling,

I think the concept of this poem is very strong and while the ending itself wasn't surprising, I was surprised and delighted by how much it still works to conclude the poem. That being said, since the concept is strong , I don't think the title needs to be so long-winded. If you must, maybe "casual intimacy on public transit" or "the casual intimacy of public transit" or something of the sort. More comments below

We stood there with our sneakers
(and our stars) While I enjoy the stylistic choice being made here with having certain important phrases in parentheses, I don't think it's enough to save this line from being cliche. There might be another way to write this and drive that point across, concerning the stars on chuck taylors though... honestly my mind went to converse shoes when I read this line
aligned Period missing?
Your arm stretched out over my head,
(pinning me against the wall) Liked the use of parentheses here.This poem seems like an inner monologue so this line here being parenthesized seems to show an inner inner monologue which I think is cool
gripping the safety rail,
winding veins disappearing under a rolled-up shirtsleeve nice sensual imagery
and as the metro carriage rocked and led my feet
one two three stumbling steps closer to you, I would get experimental with the "one two three..." phrase here and see what works because this reads a little awkwardly. Maybe that's what you intended? If not, but it's something you intend now, I'd still suggest you experiment and try to lean more into that awkwardness and if you're led back to square one then at least you tried. Otherwise I'd just write "three stumbling steps"
I tried to not imagine falling for(wards) you, and you The (wards) here makes this line read awkwardly. I'd suggest rewriting as "I tried to not imagine falling towards (or for) you, and you" or [b]"I tried to not imagine falling for(wards on) you, and you" if you really want to keep "forwards" broken by parentheses.[/b]
gripping my waist instead, but then
the train pulled into your station, and you
(unlike me)
got off. like the double meaning

Sorry if this was too much for moderate critique. The poem is kind of short and I find it harder to limit my feedback on shorter poems from my experience for some reason. Take what you think applies : )

Best,
Alex