10-09-2021, 03:42 AM
(10-09-2021, 02:12 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote: Hey duke-Actually had nothing to do with drones (as I conceived it), only that the minerals seem to have obtained agency from the animals (us) and are running the table with it.
Not a fan of titles for haiku, but without the title this one would be very difficult to decipher.
A title like “drones” might be too explicit.
The 2nd line is an OK substitute for the child’s game of “animal-vegetable-mineral.”
Finding a better way of contrasting drone strikes to child’s play may be asking too much of haiku.
All in all, you made the connection, and I got the gist of it.
Interesting that the inanimate “minerals” win, since they would require an animate agent (like an animal/person).
Mark
Wonderful what interpretations can arise from such small substance, though. Like grains of sand into silicon wafers...
By the way, I'd call this senryu since it's about people rather than scenery - perhaps the title is then forgivable?
Non-practicing atheist