Go-No-Go

[CRNDLSM]

Long poem ahead.  I would be pleased to have any comments.  Due to its length, I'm mainly curious if it is readable to the end.  It's unfinished (!) so it does just stop suddenly.  

The Cell I Was In 

Stars held me in my place. 
So imagine my surprise when One
bright as the Ones that bruised my wrists
stood before me. 
In a cloudless sky, everyone's eyes 
followed His Shadow across Heaven.
The sun was as a leper next to Him maybe a better comparison than leper, a leper may be either light or dark, in prison or out, this part doesn't seem to be be about illness
Light was only Light. 
The cataract of his voice
thundered in my ears until I blacked out. 
He pulled me up by the nape of my sackcloth 
and jingled a pair of keys in my face. 
"Hell and Death," was all he said. 
I like the imagery of the whole scene though

Through a Door in the Sky 

I thought I heard an elephant scream. Has anyone heard an elephant scream?  Unimaginably loud
Blue sky turned into asylum night,
but there were no stars. 
Then light came shining at the edges of a door 
set in the darkness where Heaven used to be. 
A wind of demons came out of the ground 
and carried me, crying and terrified, through the door. 
This seems like 'the next scene' but time doesn't have to matter yet

What I Saw There 

Enthroned on a sea of glass,
a man made of two-toned quartz: 
bile turned into luminous stone, 
opaque channels of meteoric blood 
traced beneath skin of chalcedon and brass. 
Lightning chased its tail and thunder groaned 
within and without his carven thighs. 
A quartet of sleepless totems held the throne, 
lion-face, ox-eyed, eagle-tongued, almost human, 
 each with eyes in the back of its head. 
"I have in my hand a book," said the quartzite man, "Sealed with seven locks." 
Like demonic carneys hustling a circus crowd in Hell, 
the totems echoed: . "Who will break the seven locks?" 
I really like this scene, the rhymes, slant rhymes, symbolism.  The whole tone changed with circus and Carneys though, maybe it's accurate, 


The Lamb 

On the plaza in Taos, 
there used to be an outpost of the Apocalypse, 
the Governor Bent Museum. Is this a real place?  I'm not going to look it up, I'm transported to a new scene that doesn't seem to follow a timeline I've already held onto.
The Future's victims, the tourists, 
wandered dark aisles, 
gazing upon devil-fish, muskets, Indian skulls, Penitente whips, 
and a two-headed lamb in a glass case. 
I'm very curious to put this together


Mr. Ed's Revenge mr. Ed takes a silly turn again

In terror I saw 
the lamb begin to gnaw at the locks 
that sealed up the fiery pages of the book. 
I tried to warn the quartzite man, 
but as in a dream I could not speak. 
The locks were severed. 
Glowing pages drifted free and burst into light 
like the silken mantles of a lantern. 
One of the totems whispered in my ear
as I stood blinded by the pages of the book, 
"Come and see." 
And I saw 
deep in air-conditioned bunkers 
replicate horsemen letting loose riderless horrors
 replacing roughshod hoofbeats I'm trying to imagine what a replicate horsemen is if it isn't a regular horsemen
with disembowelling hunger 
(Hitler's pale horse, perfected at Peenemunde). 
And the totems sang,
"A village destroyed for a penny, 
a city demolished for a dime, 
but spare the women and children, 
if practical." 
Very dreamy qualities, a Christmas carol vibes overall so far

Sometimes We Forget How Well It Works 

The sun put on its hairshirt, 
and the moon was red with blood
stars fell like molten figs, 
blistering the paint off cars. 
Heaven became like an abandoned drive-in, 
its vacant screen torn and soiled, 
weeds clustering among regiments of metal posts, 
where low budget oracles once were sought. 
And CEOs from every Multinational, 
and their lawyers and their accountants and their politicians 
fled to the ghettos and slums of the cities, 
crying out, "Hide us from the quartzite man 
and his two-headed lamb!" 
Youre very specific about occupations that would flee from the symbols, I don't get the drive-in reference.
    
Divertissement 

And there was silence for the space of a sit-com. Mr. Ed again?
I watched the plumes from the rockets 
fade into a cloudless blue sky. 
A marching angelic band, obscured by clouds of incense, 
entertained the quartzite man with a medley: 
The National Anthem, the theme from Patton, the Star Spangled Banner. Is it entertainment for the quartzite man or does the marching and tunes serve another purpose
Then came the solos: 
a first wave of ICBMs came down I don't know ICBM
like icicles in July, returning to the sky 
in a cloudy hail of shrapnelled light. 
In one breath cities became pits of cooling slag. 
a second wave was blown awry 
by the electromagnetic backwash of the first electromagnetic backwash packs a lot, not sure how I feel about it
and flung randomly into the seas. 
The last wave fused into a falling star 
named Wormwood, penetrating into the Ur- spring of Eden, 
raping the waters with its bitter seed. 
Weathermen mapped the casualties. 
Hunchbacked light miscreated day and night. 
I have also sort of fallen back into a timeline

Abaddon's Lambs 

Deep in forgotten bomb shelters 
locusts gathered, devouring stale crackers 
and instant milk. Radiation seeped into the gloom, 
mankind's plague was their milk and honey. 
Meekly they supped on the missiles' manna, 
mutating while above them in the half-world 
Death took in his early harvest. 
Locust eyes brightened in the man-made grottoes  are these literal locusts?
remembering generations crushed under heel and toes, 
legs torn off to entertain stumbling children, more entertainment, seems to be an important theme, with all the religious and war imagery I would either heighten the importance of the entertainment aspect or cut it all completely
fishing hooks drawn through locust bodies 
for the fish to devour. 
A messiah arose among them, name Abaddon. 
He sang the history of their torments, then brought out a mirror.
"See how you have changed, my brothers!" 
They looked and saw in the dim reflection: 
shining exoskeletal armor sheathing huge bodies, 
Homeric, flowing manes, and a glint of fangs.
Scorpion tails arched over their backs. 
Abaddon leading, they poured from their pits, 
a stinging horde caring only to hurt men. 
For a long summer season, their torment ruled. 
I'm still curious to see where this all brings me

Carnival on the Euphrates 

It was a carousel from Hell, 
brainchild of four paroled Angels 
resurrected from a watery prison 
in the river Euphrates. 
Its robotic riders were made of sapphire. 
Dr. Moreau might have fabricated the horses: even Dr. Moreau was a fabrication
lion-heads, horse-bodies, serpent tails. 
monsters that spewed fire and smoke and sulphur 
as it spun across the night skies 
incinerating mesmerized spectators. 
But two-thirds of what was left of mankind 
were safe inside watching TV. Okay so entertainment is definitely a focus of the whole piece

The Seven Thunders 

Next thing I knew 
a skyscraper angel named Thumper stepped out of Heaven, his name must be important, like the rabbit from Bambi? Entertainment
an atmospheric Frankenstein('s monster?), 
constructed out of fire and rain and refracted light. 
It stood straddling the surf, a little scroll in one hand
and summoned the seven thunders. 
And the thunder said, (text lost) I love the text lost, but it doesn't make sense as it seems your texting a dream, not a manuscript
"Time's up," roared Thumper. 
A voice said, "Go and get that scroll." 
So I approached the towering seraph. 
"Take it," said Thumper, Father of All Bullies, "and eat it." 
I didn't argue. 
I took it in one bite. 
It was candy in my mouth, 
but turned my stomach like peyote. 
Then my skull came unscrewed and Thumper poured in more visions. 
How N is the father of bullies I want more explanation or a new name, I haven't experienced the bully nature yet or the father nature from N

The Crucivision Broadcasting Network 

For three and one-half years 
Jimbo Sphinx wept, 
and his television consort, Babelina (nee Pudendarella) 
wept beside him, 
and the light in their tears 
gave life to a video collection plate, 
passed from hand to hand by satellite, 
called the Crucivision Broadcasting Network. I think this is pretty clever, I don't even mind the names here because the entire time seems consistent, I don't know if that's because everything I've read so far has led me to this though
Their PO box was submerged daily in a donative flood, 
resurfaced fructified 
by a golden silt of checks and cash. 
Husks of envelopes and their non-negotiable contents 
(pleas for health and salvation) I'm going to have to ponder the non-negotiable aspect
found eternity in a dumpster in the alley behind the studio. 
And Jimbo sings: 
"We must defend this righteous land. 
We must cancel the assignment that Satan holds upon America! And with all the names throughout I find Satan kinda funny, what's the opposite of quartzite?
It's time for us to penetrate Her with power and invasion 
in the name of the Lord!
Our weapons are not carnal! We must possess Her! 
When Her enemies appear, the Lord will raise up His Standard 
and sweep them away in a flood." I like that it's Jimbo's words, I feel like they're words from any televangelion
These are Jimbo's weapons: 
nightmare caricatures of the globe 
swallowed by a Red Spectre, 
lectures on the Satanic origin of the French Enlightenment, 
and the humanistic threat! 
"The Bible is our Constitution!" 
But it was too much 
for the Monster from the Bottomless Pit 
when Crucivision usurped the transmission 
of Hercules vs the Moonmen, 
Channel 8's feature presentation 
on Swords and Sandals Showcase. 
It bellowed out a surge that backtracked 
to the satellites’ trail, 
and fell like an avalanche of lightning 
down on their righteous heads. Wait, what bellowed out the surge?
For three and one-half days they lay 
dead on live TV. 
Their followers prayed and the prayers 
coagulated into a reverse surge, 
and, halleluia, the bodies of Jimbo and Babs, 
 braindead but otherwise unmarred, rose up, 
performed their farewell broadcast, 
and were syndicated, forever, 
Amen.  Almost too resolved, 'amen' here sounds like a cheap 'the end'

I don't know if you're going for humor but I think it is readable all the way through, you said it's not done and if the rest is like this I'm interested to see where it goes