Egerie

[Poetry In Motion]

I have to mirror on what Tranquil has to say: is this a longer work Thunder? I want to know because I feel that this poem has some promise, it was a little long though and I think that you can do something with the imagery as it is too brutal for my taste. What I mean by that is is that it is too flowery but yet squeamish (I may be talking out of my arse) but still I feel you need to do something with the wording. I think you can do something with the word choice, word economy is important and I find that all has been critiqued from Tranquil's part. Like I said before: it is a really long poem.


This is insufficient critique for this forum. 
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