Guadalupe River Haiku - edit

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Guadalupe River Haiku - edit

busker Offline

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StarGazer

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#6

07-04-2021, 08:05 PM

(07-03-2021, 11:06 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote: Young hawks cry tonight
abandoned to star and sky
and motherless moon.

I agree with River on this one: 'motherless moon' is not a convincing expression.
and 'star and sky' is rather cliched.
I like the first line.

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Messages In This Thread

Guadalupe River Haiku - edit - by TranquillityBase - 07-03-2021, 11:06 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku no. 1 - by alonso ramoran - 07-03-2021, 12:00 PM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku no. 1 - by TranquillityBase - 07-03-2021, 10:17 PM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku no. 1 - by RiverNotch - 07-04-2021, 01:13 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku no. 1 - by TranquillityBase - 07-04-2021, 05:39 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku no. 1 - by busker - 07-04-2021, 08:05 PM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku no. 1 - by TranquillityBase - 07-05-2021, 05:55 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku - edit - by CRNDLSM - 07-05-2021, 07:11 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku - edit - by TranquillityBase - 07-05-2021, 07:36 PM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku - edit - by Mark A Becker - 07-06-2021, 06:02 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku - edit - by TranquillityBase - 07-06-2021, 11:53 AM

RE: Guadalupe River Haiku - edit - by Magpie - 07-14-2021, 08:53 PM

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