Pick n Mix

[Knot]

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Hi newbie.
Enjoyed the read.

Back when growing up seemed plausible .......... great opening line (but why the capital letter? )
when kids had dreams and plans and comics .... perhaps 'we' for 'kids' (great sequence though)
the thought of death was a fleeting thing
as coherent as a passing car radio ...................... terrific image, but I'm not convinced by 'coherent', any alternatives?

it was always someone's granny
or dog who went anyway ................................. should 'went ' be ... 'went'? Maybe a few more examples before getting to the dog?
nobody I knew

but that seed did get sown over time ................ what 'seed'?
the facts of death did cross my mind ................ surely these are 'questions' not 'facts'?
like where do pets go when they die
if they can't join us in the sky?........................ could you cut this and just go straight to the next line?

they can't get to heaven apparently
but don't tell the younger kids that

and that's the tale that I can't shake ............. not clear which 'tale' you're referring to.
the growing thought while lying awake
what if it's all bullshit and there is no superman ...... contract 'there is'
no heaven or hell or anything
just an endless soulless goodnight.

but don't tell the adult kids that .................... I think it falls at the final hurdle. You've an 'if' but no 'then' Who wants to believe that?


Best, Knot

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