i'm leaving in the morning

[alonso ramoran]

hcadship,

The poem demonstrates a good understanding of the english sonnet form and meter, save for 2 lines. I feel like oftentimes within the poem, the N seems to repeat themselves a bit, which, like milo, makes me wonder if the form of an english sonnet does the material justice. It could probably be written using another shorter form, or if you were to try writing it in free-verse, it may come out shorter and tighter. More comments on the poem itself:

A fire that’s lit to chase the light of day, 
We gather round, it pulls us close so we
Can hear the crackling embers’ voices say,
“Come feel the warmth you’ve always known to be.” I feel like achieving seamless dialogue within a form with meter and a rhyme scheme is a tough thing to do without seeming forced. This feels forced. Is the flame aware of the warmth it provides, or does it simply burn and the human who's being warmed is only lucky it's contained? What would be the flame's true thoughts then? Is the "voice" of this flame just the N giving it a voice in their head? If so, I don't believe the voice would say it like this if it didn't know it's words were gonna be used to fit in a sonnet

Sun sets, the bright inferno dwindles low.
Night makes the dying flame more precious still. "Still" seems like it was a rhyme used to accommodate the next one in L4, to simply get the sonnet moving along
But though we crave that fading light, we know
that long lost light no clinging spark can fill.

Sure sit and savor, but don’t try to save. This kinda breaks away from the traditional rhyme scheme of an english sonnet, but so far, as I said, it seems you understand the form--so this is intentional. What was the intention? The play on the sound of the word "savor" is nice, but that's the only thing I took away from this line. Ending the sentence at "...don't try to save." sounds awkward without following it with a subject. Maybe you could switch around the next 2 lines?
For soon night ends, and from it comes the sun.
The fickle, fading flame just can’t compare.
A reason I should stay? I think of none? A period would do nice at the end of this line instead of a question mark

Yet still, the sweet smell, that smoke, lingers there Stressed syllable falls on "that" which puts the meter off
As voices become whispers become air. Maybe instead of "whispers become air" you could say "whispers and then air" so you wouldnt be repeating yourself

Thank you for the read,
Alex