03-09-2021, 10:43 AM
A lot of it feels forced to fit the sonnet form. The inversions and filler are fine - they are expected but some of the forced metrics are just lazy
As voices BEcome etc
Could easily be
As voices turn to whispers turn to air
And become both metrically proper and more interesting
My big problem with it, and it’s probably just me, is that it just doesn’t really say anything interesting.
As voices BEcome etc
Could easily be
As voices turn to whispers turn to air
And become both metrically proper and more interesting
My big problem with it, and it’s probably just me, is that it just doesn’t really say anything interesting.