Birds in this World

[dukealien]

Birds in this World

Birds in this world,
how we let them survive;
there's one pecking;
here's one fluttering:
Just like an afterthought, a bird.
I once knew an angel that had angelwings,
and a fairy that had butterflywings,
but a bird
is like something all its own.
A bird with wings:
The concept is a mutant.

And a poem with a sting in its tail.  But to work, with basic critique...

First off, basic typography:  since you're using standard punctuation, the jury's out on how many spaces should follow a colon - but the next word doesn't get capitalized.  Colon (or, maybe, em dash) is appropriate in both places, just a typo niggle.

The concept of birds as afterthoughts/mutants is powerful:  unlike all other animal plans (including flying mammals and pterodactyls), birds gave up their arms for wings as angels and fairies do not.  An unprecedented mutation from which turkeys, ostriches and the like are degenerates.  It was a leap where even angels fear to tread.

And that last line extends the matter of birds.  What do people do to themselves and their species (or what does the species do to itself) that's as radical as wings?  As T. H. White mulled, man does not fly like a bird, he flies like a beetle.  Yeah brains, erect posture, opposable thumbs... closest idea that comes to mind is some SciFi stories where space travelers' bodies are modified by substituting arms for legs, or eliminating one arm and one leg for agility in freefall.

*Ahem* But to return to basic critique, my only suggestion aside from typography is that l.2 ("how we let them survive") doesn't quite fit the plan or argument of the poem as "is like something all its own" does - at least the way I parse the poem, which may only indicate I've got it wrong.  Line 2 *kind of* fits, but perhaps something less subject to interpretation would work better there.

That's all I've got; hot stuff; made me think.