Love Poem <3

[Knot]

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Hi Miley,
improved with the revision, but I agree with Tiger et al, you don't the the aurora (which doesn't feel like a conclusion to tinder, spark etc).

I think L7 is the main weakness, for me. Whatever love is, shouldn't relate to the sharing of L1?

Also, perhaps switch the opening two lines

getting dressed and undressed,
We share an alarm clock,
A pillow, and a mouth—

coming into our own Ouroboros.


Best, Knot


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