02-01-2021, 12:23 PM
nh,
Using unusual typesetting only makes the poem seem affected and it also makes makes the reading more difficult. Your use of the word "‘neath" instead of beneath seem nonsensical as this is not formal poetry where one need to be aware of the meter. Some of your phrases have syntactical problems such as "and here still i am". Commas are a bit overused, just because it is at the end of a line, does not mean it necessitates a comma. I the sentence does not have commas normally, then they should not be added.
As this is in basic I'll stop.
best
dale
Using unusual typesetting only makes the poem seem affected and it also makes makes the reading more difficult. Your use of the word "‘neath" instead of beneath seem nonsensical as this is not formal poetry where one need to be aware of the meter. Some of your phrases have syntactical problems such as "and here still i am". Commas are a bit overused, just because it is at the end of a line, does not mean it necessitates a comma. I the sentence does not have commas normally, then they should not be added.
As this is in basic I'll stop.
best
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.