12-29-2020, 07:54 AM
Hello Erthona,
Just a few thoughts on your poem (what else?).
The beginning cuts against the ending for me.
scales fell from her eyes - indicates she was previously fooled.
to ever be deceived! - indicates she has never been fooled.
Scales bouncing off the floor and hammering her ear is a difficult image to hold.
The unheard silver bell is a nice thought - very Christmassy...
I'm not fond of 'savvy' and 'smart' which are too unspecific for me.
Too old and knowing might have more depth perhaps.
Thanks for sharing...........P
Just a few thoughts on your poem (what else?).
The beginning cuts against the ending for me.
scales fell from her eyes - indicates she was previously fooled.
to ever be deceived! - indicates she has never been fooled.
Scales bouncing off the floor and hammering her ear is a difficult image to hold.
The unheard silver bell is a nice thought - very Christmassy...
I'm not fond of 'savvy' and 'smart' which are too unspecific for me.
Too old and knowing might have more depth perhaps.
Thanks for sharing...........P