lurking

[Mark A Becker]

Hey Phillip-
"crawling" never seemed right to me either, and was a placeholder until I could find a better word.  I believe that "lurking" is more apt.

The challenge of working in such a short form is always vexing...

Thanks for the helpful critique.

... Mark

Hello Mark,
a stark poem, and having read your replies, with a dark message.

crawling in my bones - a confusing opening for me, I first thought the narrator was crawling - in the context of a spider, it doesn't sound right (crawling in bone?), give a more specific image, like 'spinning' - which chimes with invisible. ?

on its invisible web- its invisible web - add a modifier for syllable count perhaps.

cold eyes glowing green - this is good - the colour of sickness.

thank you for sharing......P