Dinner Dream

[Torkelburger]

Interesting. I'm wondering if I should abandon the form entirely in order to add the necessary details and "meat" to the piece. I guess I could try and get the point across with a bit more emphasis here and there--and some elaboration. I will have to think about it.

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Revision #1

Dinner Dream

Tonight, I cooked dinner—
fried spaghetti, Coors to drink,
sunflowers adorn the table.

Frank Zappa is coming,
Ray Bradbury, van Gogh too—
and I’ll be there for sure.

Just laying the table cloth
cheers up my lonely apartment—
we’ll laugh, tell stories, make music.

I answer a knock at the door,
but when I open it
there’s no Frank, Ray, or Vincent.

It’s just another me
staring back at my face,
but should I admit myself?

Nothing’s changed, I’ll be a good guest…
eat, drink, make music, and
learn to love myself again.