12-08-2020, 03:56 AM
@dukealien,
Yes I will remove that comma. I think I will change that line to “but should I admit myself?” as you suggest.
Thanks for the supportive comments. I will remove “laugh” as well as per your suggestion.
It is actually autobiographical. It is based on an exercise I did with my psychiatrist I did many years ago in a therapy session.
@philip,
Thanks for the kind words. Yes, the foxglove was in reference to van Gogh. I was trying to make yet another metaphor or allusion to the poem’s topic of depression/loneliness in that foxglove is the main ingredient in Digitalis, which is what van Gogh took for his depression (as was given to him by Dr. Gachet). He painted it in several paintings and it is most famously in the portrait he did of Dr. Gachet himself (he is holding a bouquet of it in his hand). I could do sunflowers too, I guess since he painted them upon anticipation of Gaugin staying at the yellow house in Arles, so that might fit the theme as well.
I’ll change that line to the table cloth imagery. I don’t think I’ll be able to add another verse about what each guest brings, as the form only allows for 18 lines (6 stanzas).
I've been thinking of how to correct L6, L16, and L18 all day long today but I can't think of anything. I'll keep at it.
Yes I will remove that comma. I think I will change that line to “but should I admit myself?” as you suggest.
Thanks for the supportive comments. I will remove “laugh” as well as per your suggestion.
It is actually autobiographical. It is based on an exercise I did with my psychiatrist I did many years ago in a therapy session.
@philip,
Thanks for the kind words. Yes, the foxglove was in reference to van Gogh. I was trying to make yet another metaphor or allusion to the poem’s topic of depression/loneliness in that foxglove is the main ingredient in Digitalis, which is what van Gogh took for his depression (as was given to him by Dr. Gachet). He painted it in several paintings and it is most famously in the portrait he did of Dr. Gachet himself (he is holding a bouquet of it in his hand). I could do sunflowers too, I guess since he painted them upon anticipation of Gaugin staying at the yellow house in Arles, so that might fit the theme as well.
I’ll change that line to the table cloth imagery. I don’t think I’ll be able to add another verse about what each guest brings, as the form only allows for 18 lines (6 stanzas).
I've been thinking of how to correct L6, L16, and L18 all day long today but I can't think of anything. I'll keep at it.