12-06-2020, 01:56 AM
Hello Tb,
My, you're prolific, and all in different poetical forms that I can only admire - yes, whatever it takes to get creative and writing!
A nice idea for a poem, a fantasy dinner party, but disappointingly ends in simplistic self-reflection.
Tonight, I cooked dinner—
fried spaghetti, Coors to drink,
foxglove adorns the table. - I'm guessing references to the guests, but they are too obtuse - what's wrong with sunflowers?
Frank Zappa is coming,
Ray Bradbury, van Gogh too--
and I’ll be there for sure. - a waste of a precious line.
Just thinking about it - boring, a chance for imagery - just laying the table cloth etc...
cheers up my lonely apartment—
we’ll laugh, tell stories, make music. - the whole shebang in one line?
what does each guest bring to the table? - for a nice three line verse.
I answer a knock at the door, - as last, a knock on the door - give it drama
but when I open it,
there’s no Frank, Ray, or Vincent.
It’s just another me
staring back at myself,
but do I want to let myself in? - interesting thought
Nothing’s changed, I’ll be a good guest…
eat, drink, laugh, make music, and
learn to love myself again. - these lines are a bit cliche. Telling it, if you know what I mean.
pick up the guitar and play
(an appropriately poignant zappa song)
just my thoughts to take or leave............P
My, you're prolific, and all in different poetical forms that I can only admire - yes, whatever it takes to get creative and writing!
A nice idea for a poem, a fantasy dinner party, but disappointingly ends in simplistic self-reflection.
Tonight, I cooked dinner—
fried spaghetti, Coors to drink,
foxglove adorns the table. - I'm guessing references to the guests, but they are too obtuse - what's wrong with sunflowers?
Frank Zappa is coming,
Ray Bradbury, van Gogh too--
and I’ll be there for sure. - a waste of a precious line.
Just thinking about it - boring, a chance for imagery - just laying the table cloth etc...
cheers up my lonely apartment—
we’ll laugh, tell stories, make music. - the whole shebang in one line?
what does each guest bring to the table? - for a nice three line verse.
I answer a knock at the door, - as last, a knock on the door - give it drama
but when I open it,
there’s no Frank, Ray, or Vincent.
It’s just another me
staring back at myself,
but do I want to let myself in? - interesting thought
Nothing’s changed, I’ll be a good guest…
eat, drink, laugh, make music, and
learn to love myself again. - these lines are a bit cliche. Telling it, if you know what I mean.
pick up the guitar and play
(an appropriately poignant zappa song)
just my thoughts to take or leave............P