12-05-2020, 08:00 AM
Hello Tb,
I'm assuming it's a lune - but it's rather flat, with no fresh insight here to lift the poem.
I think the snag might be 'prudent' - a bit of a weak and vague adjective for the punchline.
Get real with it, what's really happening? - the cat is bending its body out of shape - find that adjective, for more novel imagery perhaps?
just my thoughts..........P
I'm assuming it's a lune - but it's rather flat, with no fresh insight here to lift the poem.
I think the snag might be 'prudent' - a bit of a weak and vague adjective for the punchline.
Get real with it, what's really happening? - the cat is bending its body out of shape - find that adjective, for more novel imagery perhaps?
just my thoughts..........P