Dinner Dream

[dukealien]

in Triversen form

Dinner Dream

Tonight, I cooked dinner—
fried spaghetti, Coors to drink, nicely packed - fried, spaghetti takes more time, effort, and dirty pots and pans than just boiled
(and quality beer, too - the "I" is making an effort)
foxglove adorns the table.
 
Frank Zappa is coming,
Ray Bradbury, van Gogh too-- you probably meant another em dash here (g)
and I’ll be there for sure.
 
Just thinking about it
cheers up my lonely apartment—
we’ll laugh, tell stories, make music.
 
I answer a knock at the door,
but when I open it, is this comma necessary?
there’s no Frank, Ray, or Vincent.
 
It’s just another me
staring back at myself,
but do I want to let myself in? only idea to improve this is some form of, "should I admit myself" for a little ambiguity... just a thought
 
Nothing’s changed, I’ll be a good guest…
eat, drink, laugh, make music, and
learn to love myself again. also nicely packed - not "like" or "tolerate" or even "enjoy."

The form, using sequences of three, is quite satisfying.  It does break down in the last two stanzas, though in the second-to-last the breakdown fits the theme of discovering what's missing.  The final stanza could be three-themed by eliminating one of the four items on its second line - probably "laughed," which is a little edgy with just the one.

On the whole, this is good, expressive, and makes one think a bit.  If it's not autobiographical, you've  a sharp (and accurate) imagination!  One may be the loneliest number, but it doesn't have to be, actually, lonely.

Puts one in mind of the old Rastafarian "I and I" (meaning, I recently learned, "we").