11-17-2020, 02:19 AM
one other nit is that i believe "to be sang" should be "to be sung", so the simple past tense of sing should be the past participle.
i know you want to stick to rhyming but, just to experiment, i'd highly encourage you to try rewriting this in free verse just to see what you come up with. as long as you're giving your audience concrete images that convey exactly what you're trying to say, you will have them engaged, with or without rhymes : )
i know you want to stick to rhyming but, just to experiment, i'd highly encourage you to try rewriting this in free verse just to see what you come up with. as long as you're giving your audience concrete images that convey exactly what you're trying to say, you will have them engaged, with or without rhymes : )